Zoe’s Tale PART I Chapter Five

There was a tap on my threshold, a rat-a-tat that I gave hickory tree to use when I was nine, when I made it a secret member of my secret club. I made Dickory a secret member of an entirely different secret club. aforestate(prenominal) with mammy, Dad and Babar. I was all ab place the secret clubs when I was nine, app arently. I couldnt even tell you what the name of that secret club was now. But hickory stock-still used the knock whenever my bedroom door was closed.Come in, I utter. I was standing by my bedroom window.hickory tree came in. Its dark in here, it said.Thats what happens when its late and the lights are out, I said.I heard you walking about, Hickory said. I came to see if you needed anything.Like a warm glass of milk? I said. Im fine, Hickory. give thanks you.Then Ill leave you, Hickory said, backing out.No, I said. Come here a minute. Look.Hickory walked over to stand next to me at the window. He looked where I pointed, to two figures in the road in front of our house. Mom and Dad. She has been out there for some time, Hickory said. Major Perry joined her a few proceedings ago.I know, I said. I saw him walk out. I heard her walk out, too, about an hour earlier the squeaking of the springs on the screen door had gotten me out of bed. I hadnt been sleeping, anyway. Thinking about leaving Huckleberry and colonizing somewhere new was keeping my brain up, and then made me pace around. The idea of leaving was sink in. It was making me twitchier than I thought it would.You know about the new colony? I asked Hickory.We do, Hickory said. Lieutenant Sagan informed us earlier this evening. Dickory also filed a request to our government for more information.Why do you call them by their rank? I asked Hickory. My brain was looking for tangents at the moment, it seemed, and this was a good one. Mom and Dad. Why dont you call them Jane and John like everyone else?Its non appropriate, Hickory said. Its too familiar.Youve lived with us for seven years, I said. You might be able to risk a weeny familiarity.If you wish us to call them John and Jane, then we will do so, Hickory said.Call them what you want, I said. Im effective saying that if you want to call them by their eldest name, you could.We will remember that, Hickory said. I doubted there would be a change in protocol anytime soon.Youll be coming with us, right? I asked, changing the subject. To the new colony. I hadnt assumed that Hickory and Dickory would not be joining us, which when I thought about it might not have been a burnished assumption.Our treaty allows it, Hickory said. It will be up to you to decide.Well, of course I want you to come, I said. Wed just as soon leave Babar behind than not take you two.I am happy to be in the same category as your dog, Hickory said.I think that came out wrong, I said.Hickory held up a hand. No, it said. I know you did not mean to imply Dickory and I are like pets. You meant to imply Babar is part of your household. You woul d not leave without him.Hes not just part of the household, I said. Hes family. Slobbery, var. of dim family. But family. Youre family, too. Weird, alien, occasionally obtrusive family. But family.Thank you, Zoe, Hickory said.Youre welcome, I said, and suddenly snarl shy. Conversations with Hickory were going weird places today. Thats why I asked about you calling my parents by rank, you know. Its not a usual family thing.If we are truly part of your family, then it is harmless to say its not a usual family, Hickory said. So it would be hard to say what would be usual for us.This got a snort from me. Well, thats true, I said. I thought for a moment. What is your name, Hickory? I asked.Hickory, it said.No, I mean, what was your name before you came to live with us, I said. You had to have been named something before I named you Hickory. And Dickory, too, before I named it that.No, it said. You forget. earlier your biological father, Obin did not have consciousness. We did not hav e a sense of self, or the need to describe ourselves to ourselves or to others.That would make it hard to do anything with more than two of you, I said. Saying hey, you only goes so far.We had descriptors, to help us in our work, Hickory said. They were not the same as names. When you named Dickory and me, you gave us our true names. We became the frontmost Obin to have names at all.I wish I had known that at the time, I said, after I took this in. I would have given you names that werent from a nursery rhyme.I like my name, Hickory said. Its popular among other Obin as well. Hickory and Dickory both.There are other Obin Hickorys, I said.Oh, yes, Hickory said. Several million, now.I had no possible intelligible response to that. I turned my attention back to my parents, who were still standing in the road, entwined.They love each other, Hickory said, sideline my gaze.I glanced back at it. Not really where I was expecting the conversation to go, but okay, I said.It makes a differen ce, Hickory said. In how they speak to each other. How they perish with each other.I suppose it does, I said. Hickorys observation was an understatement, actually. John and Jane didnt just love each other. The two of them were nuts for each other, in exactly the sort of way thats both touching and embarrassing to a teenage daughter. Touching because who doesnt want their parents to love each other, right down to their toes? Embarrassing because, well. Parents. Not supposed to act like goofs about each other.They showed it in different ways. Dad was the most obvious about it, but I think Mom felt it more intensely than he did. Dad was married before his first wife died back on Earth. Some part of his heart was still with her. No one else had any claim on Janes heart, though. John had all of it, or all of it that was supposed to belong to your spouse. No matter how you sliced it, though, theres nothing either of them wouldnt do for each other.Thats why theyre out here, I said to Hi ckory. In the road right now, I mean. Because they love each other.How so? Hickory asked.You said it yourself, I said. It makes a difference in how they communicate. I pointed again to the two of them. Dad wants to go and lead this colony, I said. If he didnt, he would have just said no. Its how he works. Hes been moody and out of sorts all day because he wants it and he knows there are complications. Because Jane loves it here.More than you or Major Perry, Hickory said.Oh, yeah, I said. Its where shes been married. Its where shes had a family. Huckleberry is her homeworld. Hed say no if she doesnt give him per take oution to say yes. So thats what shes doing, out there.Hickory peered out again at the silhouettes of my parents. She could have said so in the house, it said.I shook my head. No, I said. Look how shes looking up. Before Dad came out, she was doing the same thing. Standing there and looking up at the stars. Looking for the star our new planet orbits, maybe. But what shes really doing is saying good-bye to Huckleberry. Dad needs to see her do it. Mom knows that. Its part of the undercoat shes out there. To let him know shes ready to let this planet go. Shes ready to let it go because hes ready to let it go.You said it was part of the reason shes out there, Hickory said. Whats the other part?The other part? I asked. Hickory nodded. Oh. Well. She needs to say good-bye for herself, too. Shes not just doing it for Dad. I watched Jane. A mount of who she is, she became here. And we may never get back here. Its hard to leave your home. Hard for her. I think shes trying to find a way to let it go. And that starts by saying good-bye to it.And you? Hickory said. Do you need to say good-bye?I thought about it for a minute. I dont know, I admitted. Its funny. Ive already lived on four planets. Well, three planets and a space station. Ive been here longest, so I guess its my home more than any of the rest of them. I know Ill miss some of the things about it. I know Ill miss some of my friends. But more than any of that Im excited. I want to do this. Colonize a new world. I want to go. Im excited and nervous and a little scared. You know?Hickory didnt say anything to this. Outside the window, Mom had walked away a little from Dad, and he was turning to head back into the house. Then he stopped and turned back to Mom. She held out her hand to him. He came to her, took it. They began to walk down the road together.Good-bye, Huckleberry, I said, whispering the words. I turned away from the window and let my parents have their walk.